I think that it is now time to be a little more light hearted and this next story fits the bill perfectly. It is also the first story that I wrote that actually seems to me like a real short story. It's about how love blossoms in Tennessee between a boy of no experience and a girl with lots. Remember, this story was written more than 30 years ago and has no connection with the movie that is coming out called SHE'S OUT OF MY LEAGUE, even if Tom Mckenn is definitely out of his league. By the way, the name McKenn was derived from one of my Grandmother's maiden names and is the name of course of some of my relatives. Most of them come from southern Kentucky and are actually named McKeehan. The reason I didn't use that name in this story is because I didn't know until years later that it was spelled like that. I hope you enjoy this one. Even though I was still no great author, I think now that this story showed some improvement, and after reading it a couple of days ago, I still got some chuckles out of it.
I'd heard about bein' pleasured way back in the fifth grade. All the boys at the county school had talked about "bein' pleasured", an' some even snuck dirty pictures of women with no clothes on into the schoolhouse.
Lord a' mighty, do I 'member the rantin' and ravin' our schoolmarm, Miss Emma Lou Twitty did when she found one of 'em inside Billy Farney's arithmetic book. And poor Billy! His Papa had him back in that shed fer' pert' near twenty minutes! Ole' Billy couldn't set down fer' a week. He told us later that his Papa didn't whoop him fer lookin' at the pictures, but fer' tearin' them out of his books.
Now before I tell y'all the rest of my story, I reckon' I'd better tell ya' somethin' about me. I was what you would call the shy type. In fact, that would be a huge understatement. Take fer' example the first time I saw one of them nekkid pictures. It warn't the first time someone had brought pictures to school. I just warn't interested before. But it seemed, from what everyone was talkin' about, this one was really good. It seems that it was the first picture someone had brought where the girl warn't wearin' no bloomers. Well sir, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to take a looksee.
I warn't shor' if it was shock or amazement. Whatever it was, I just stood there next to Jimmy Maynard, pointin' at the spot below her belly button. Finally I managed to say what had been racin' through my head.
"Sh-sh-she a-ain't got no th-thang! It's done been cut off!"
I still ain't lived that down. Well sir, when they started laughin' I melted like molasses poured on top of some griddle cakes.
Another thing 'bout me. I ain't got much common sense. The next day when I came to school all of the boys were still talkin' about it. Before goin' to class, Billy and Jimmy tracked me down and called me over to talk.
"Tommy, me an' the boys, well, we've been talkin' and we decided we was goin' ta' give ya' the benefit of the doubt. We know you were pullin' our leg yesterday. "Warn't you?"
Yes sir, I had no common sense. Given the chance to right myself fer' my stupidity the day before, I admitted to them that no, I warn't kiddin'. Their faces went blank before they broke out in roars of laughter. Billy whispered into Jimmy's ear and then set next to me. Peter walked back to the rest of the guys, tellin' them what was going on.
"Tommy," Billy said. I looked at him quizzically and he continued. "I've got some explainin' ta do to you."
I don't think I need to go into details, 'cept to say I walked away a differnt' person. I was shocked to know my folks did thet' kind of stuff. Heck, I was surprised that anyone did that with one another's personals. But, all in all, it sounded like a lot of fun.
What he told me shor' didn't help my shyness any. It only made it worse. Whenever a girl talked to me it seemed like my throat would tense right up and nothin' but squeaks would come out.
Over the next six years us kids did a little bit of what you would call developin'. An', from what I noticed in the school's locker room I was developin' quite a heap more than the other boys in my class. That didn't change my shyness though. It seemed like all the girls in the ninth grade were chasin' after me and I don't know how I managed, but I always escaped.
By this time, most of the boys in the class, and I'd guess girls fer' that matter, had been pleasured at one time or 'nother. I'd thought about it, if you know what I mean, but darned if my heart still didn't drop to my drawers every time a girl came up to me.
Christie Marie Mason came to our school in the eleventh grade. I 'member the exact day cause that was the day I fell in love. Charlie Gorner, the Principal, brought her into our English class. He first introduced her to our teacher, and then to the class.
"Hurumph!" He always cleared his throat before he spoke. "Students, I want to introduce y'all to Christie Marie. Christie and her folks just moved to Yahoo County from upstate thar' in Boone County. I know y'all will make her feel right at home." (When I wrote this story, not only wasn't there a YAHOO web site, but there was no internet, or if there was, it wasn't yet ready for the general public. -riesen2b)
Now I don't want this story to sound too romantic, but I'd swear on my pet do Homer's grave that it was love at first sight. I ain't sure if it was just my imagination, but I'll be darned if she warn't lookin' straight at me. How did I know? Cause I spent most of my time starin' straight at her. Every time our eyes would meet I would blush and look the other way.
Christie looked like she was sixteen going on twenty-one. Her silky baby blond hair fell in waves down the curved arch of her back, cascading across her bottom before drifting halfway to her knees. Her wide, bright green eyes shimmered like emeralds against the light of a full moon. Her smile was pure stunning white, each tooth set perfectly in place. Her lips were full and lush, almost begging for mine to be placed against them.
All I could think were dirty thoughts. Thoughts that I had never even thought about. And it sure didn't help matters much when she placed her books on the empty desk next to mine, sat in the seat, looked straight at me again as she smiled and said hello. For the rest of the time that we were in school, in my mind Christie Marie would be nekkid. I just couldn't stop thinkin' about her.
I became aware in the next week that she was takin' a real interest in me. It seemed like ever' time I tried to steal a look at her, darned if she warn't lookin' at me and sighin'. I'd always turn my head real quick, too embarrassed to say anything.
Since this is a longer story since the first, and since I'm drifting off to sleep while I'm typing, I'm going to cut it off here for now. When we return, we'll find Tommy in the predicament of preparing for the school's winter dance. So, stay tuned for more.
It was December an' 'proachin' the week of the big school dance. Like ever' year the guys were talkin' 'bout which girl they's a gonna' ask out and the girls were talkin' 'bout who they hoped would ask 'em out and I was just in the middle doin' nothin'.
Now as I suppose you can guess, none of the girls expected me to ask anyone out. They'd done given up on me a couple of years ago. However, bein' as Christie Marie knew nothin' about me, whenever the girls talked to her she said she wished I'd take her out.
The girls, always bein' ones to spread gossip like peanut butter, told the boys about it and Billy took it on himself to tell me. It warn't that Billy was a wantin' me to ask her. It was just that he as a wantin' me to let Christie know I warn't a goin'. That way see, she'd go with him.
Billy came to see me down by Peewee Creek, which is whar' I go all the time to think. I was standin' by the creek skippin' rocks when I saw Billy on the other side. He called out to me.
"Hey Tom!" They called me Tom instead of Tommy now. I liked it. It sounded more grown up even if I didn't feel it. "All raht' if I talk with ya' a bit?"
"Sure. Come on over," I called. He had no shoes on and liftin' his pants legs he came splashin' over to the other side. We sat down on a coupla' big ole' rocks and Billy began talkin' while I continued to skip rocks.
"D'ya do that a lot?" he asked, tryin' to think of a way to bring up the subject of Christie.
"Yep," I said. I threw a rock and it skipped across the creek six times before sinking to the shallow bottom.
"Well, anyway. I came to talk to you about Christie Marie."
"What about her?" I glanced over to Billy, wondering what was up.
He stood up and stepped in front of me and spoke, "Did you know she wants you to go to the dance with her?"
"Your kiddin'!" When he said that my heart skipped a beat. I looked at his face, lookin' for signs that he was playing a trick on me.
"No, I'm not," he said in a serious voice. "You uh, plannin' on askin' her?"
"I'd never have the guts to ask her. You know that." Just the thought of it gave me the shivers.
"Good, er, I mean, yeah, I figgered that much. Think ya' can do me a favor then?"
"Sure," I said without hesitatin'." After all, Billy was my best friend. "What is it?"
"Tell Christie you ain't goin' so that I can ask her and she'll go with me."
I had already said I would so no matter how scared I was I'd have to talk to her. Just talkin' to her was enough to make me shudder.
The next day, during lunch break, I saw Christie sitting by herself on the school yard, readin' a book. Nervously, I slowly inched my way over to her. When she noticed my shadow blockin' the sun she looked up, saw me, and smiled as wide as she could.
"Hello Tommy." She was the only one who still called me Tommy. I melted.
"Um, er, hi thar' Christie Marie," I said weakly, my hands behind my back and my head lookin' towards the ground.
She closed her book. "What's up? Anythin' special?"
"No, not really. It-it's jest' that uh, uh..." My voice trailed off.
"Yeah, go on," she urged.
"Well, you know that thar's a dance this weekend and well..."
She interrupted me, trying to speak my thoughts. She spoke the wrong ones. "And you want me to go with you! Oh Tommy, I'd just love to!" She startled me by wrapping her arms around me, grabbing me, and plantin' a great big kiss raht' on the cheek. If ever I'd been close to passin' out it was raht' then. I swear I darn near died.
As soon as I recovered I tried to explain to her what I really wanted to say, but she just wouldn't listen to me. Darn' women! Once they set thar' mind on somethin' it's like movin' a stubborn mule to get 'em to change it.
Finally, I gave up. She'd done had everything all planned out. Just then, the bell signalin' the end of lunch sounded. She got up, straightened her dress, and said goodbye. She took a few steps, turned, and spoke.
"See ya' tomorrow night at eight Tommy."
"Uh yeah," I muttered. "See ya'."
After school Billy came up to me to see if'n I'd talked to Christie. "Well did ya' talk to her?" he asked, anxious for an answer.
"Yeah" I dreaded havin' to explain the outcome.
"Did ya' tell her?" Billy became even more anxious.
"Sort of." I was stalling.
"Sort of?" he asked in a puzzled voice.
"Well, dad blurn' it Billy, you know how I am when it comes to girls. Somehow it all got messed up and now I'm goin' to the dance with her."
Billy's temper blew like a bull gettin' an enema. If I'd been in the Olympics I'm sure I'd gotten' a gold medal for the two mile run to my house. Billy was with me all the way and would have caught me if he hadn't stopped in a pile of cow dung and stopped. I was too scared to stop and waited 'till I got home to clean my shoes off.
When we return, it will be the day of the big dance. What's in store? You will have to come back to see.
The next day I was busy preparin' fer' the dance. I spent the mornin' warshin' and waxin' my Papa's pickup. I don't really know why I bothered. Most of the roads in the county were dirt. After that, I took a shower, warshin' my hair, takin' extra care to make a straight part down the side. My hair, in my opinion, was one of my better features. It was jet black and as thick as the fur on a grizzly bear. I never used that greasy gunk on my hair, preferrin' the dry, natural look.
I was nervous all day and when it came time to leave I was shakin' like a leaf. I sure hoped my under the arm spray would hold up. I had just gotten my license and because of that, the truck looked like me whenever I shifted gears--as jumpy as a rabbit.
I got to Christie's house at almost exactly eight o' clock. I got out of the car, walked to her door, and knocked. Sweat beaded on my forehead as my heart pounded. Her Mama opened the front door. She looked like a pleasant sort of woman.
"Evenin' Maam," I said. "Uh, is your daughter ready?"
"Are you Tommy Mckenn?"
"Yes Maam, I am."
"If you ain't the purtiest little thang. Come right in. My daughter has good taste, that's fer' shor'."
I blushed of course. "Thank you kindly Maam." I stepped in.
"She'll be down in a few minutes so you might as well sit down on the sofa. I'll be right back. Ya' want anything like a RC Cola, Dr. Pepper, or Grape Nehi?"
"An RC would be fine Maam." I certainly needed it 'cause my throat was as dry as a bone.
In a few minutes Christie Marie came down the steps. I was speechless. She was the purtiest critter I had seen in all my born days. Her lips were glossed a bright sensuous red which was set off by the warm glow of her skin, as well as perfect rows of glistening white teeth.
The dress she wore clung to her body, showing every line, dip, and curve that there was to see. Her neckline came down in a vee, giving an enticin' view of her firm round bosom. It was then that I noticed that she had no bra on. And with a dress that tight, why warn't there no pantylines?
I finally built up the courage to speak. "Gosh Christie Marie, you shor' are pretty."
"Thank you Tommy," she responded with a smile. "
"Uh, are you ready to go?" I already knew that her answer would be yes.
"Let me say g'bye to Mama first." She went into the kitchen and came back out with her Mama.
"Now you two have fun," her Mama instructed. "And Tommy, make sure you take good care of my little girl."
"Oh, I shor' will Maam. Don't you worry about a thing."
I escorted Christie to the truck and helped her in. I went to the driver's side and hopped in myself. As I began to rev the engine, Christie spoke.
"Tommy, let's not go to the dance. You see, it's not that I don't want to go, but it's jest' that I'm not a very good dancer and I'd rather be somewhar' where we can be alone. Okay?" She edged her way towards me and kissed me on the cheek.
Now tell me. How can you say no to a purty' girl like Christie Marie when she goes and kisses ya'? I know I couldn't.
"Gosh yes, Christie. Whar' ya' wantin' ta' go?"
"There's a good movie at the drive-in. It's a James Bond picture. Doesn't that sound good?"
"Sounds fine to me," I replied. "Let's go." I'd wanted ta' see Thunderballs anyway.
We got to the drive-in. I paid the money and drove in. The movie would be startin' in a few minutes and I wanted to find a good spot. I headed for the front row, but Christie was going to have none of that.
"No, no, no Tommy! Let's get close to the back row, puhleeze?"
Her pleadin' tore my heart apart. I couldn't refuse. After we parked at the second to the last row, I asked Christie if she wanted anything from the snack bar. She had no interest in food.
Well sir, the movie was playin' and as I sat watchin' it I felt Christie's body nudge in closer to me. She picked up my right arm and draped it around her shoulders, snugglin' her head next to me.
A couple of moments later I darned near had a heart attack because Christie Marie began rubbin' her hand against my chest, reachin' inside my shirt.
I was frozen, unable to move. If that had surprised me, what happened next was a total shocker. She removed her hand from my shirt, lowerin' it to the bulge that was rapidly developin' in my pants.
"Ch-Christie! Do you think you should be doin' that?"
"Oh Tommy," she whispered. "Don't you like it?" She rubbed some more. I thought my zipper was gonna' burst right open.
"B-but Christie! Wh-what would your Mama say? I've n-never..." I didn't finish.
"Don't worry," Christie interrupted, trying to calm my embarrassment. "I'll teach you." She planted her soft red lips against mine and we kissed. I'd never played with anyone's tongue before, but as we did our tongue tango, I knew there was no stopping me from going further.
Well, next thing ya' know I was rubbin' her an' she was rubbin' me and I was tryin' to take off her dress and she was pullin' down my pants and..."
Well sir, have you ever heard the cry of a banshee? I ain't but that's whut' I must a sounded like when her head went down below. She began kissin' and lickin' and suckin' and what have you! I was on a jet headin' straight to heaven.
Hate to cut you off here, but I thought I would leave you here in suspense.
After that she sat up and smiled. "Now it's your turn," she spoke as she lifted her legs onto the seat, bending her knees and spreading her legs.
"But Christie Marie, I cain't do that to you! Thar' ain't nothin' thar'!"
I know that silly. There ain't supposed to be. You just kiss it an' lick it and nibble a bit. Puhleeze!"
Thar' she was pleadin' with me again. Well, like I said before, I cain't refuse. In no time Christie had her hands at my head and was a moanin' and a pantin' like she'd just run a mile. Finally, she grabbed my head and raised me up fer' a kiss.
"D'you like it?" I asked.
"Oh Tommy, it was great! Tommy, will you pleasure me now?"
Hot dingy, I thought The moment I'd waited fer. I got ready to pleasure her when she spoke.
"Tommy, you can't do nothin' in that condition." She pointed down to my nether regions.
"Huh?" I looked down and shor' 'nough it was as wilted as cooked spaghetti.
"No problem," she said. "I'll fix ya' right up." She wrapped her hand around it and started moving it up and down. In no time it was ready.
Once again I got ready but soon realized the difficulty I faced with my long legs, a short seat, and an over-sized steerin' wheel.
"Wait a minute Tommy. I've got an idea. Sit up." Well, I did that and she got on top of me, settin' right down on it and buckin' like a mule.
Everything would have been fine if poor Christie Marie hadn't fell back against the steerin' wheel and honked the horn, right when both of us reached the moment of truth.
Next thing I know, a flashlight was shining in our faces. It was the manager, who happened to be a good friend of Christie's Papa. Well sir, both of us were yanked out of that truck, hanging on to our clothes to hide ourselves from everyone, and were dragged into a back room of the snack bar whar' we finally managed to get dressed.
Boy, do I remember the looks on our folks faces when they arrived and the manager had told them about our 'shenanigans'. It took Papa forever to apologize to Christie's folks, vowing never to let his boy do something like that again.
Both me an' Christie got good beatin's when we got home. My butt was whooped till it bled. Finally, Papa let me go to bed, vowin' never to let me out of his sight. I guess the fact that my folks were pretty religious had somethin' to do with his anger.
When I went to school on the followin' Monday I talked to Billy who had forgiven me for what I'd done. I told him all about what had happened over the weekend. He was astonished.
"Y-you mean you two really did do it?"
"Yeah. But boy, does my behind hurt now. Why are you so surprised?"
"Because all of us other guys. And the girls too, I reckon'. We just talked about it, but we never really did it."
"You're kiddin' me!"
"N-no I ain't. You lucky dog!"
Well golly, I thought. Nothin' but talk. To think I had always thought I was the odd one who'd never done it and now it seems I'm the odd one who had done it.
"Hey Tom," Billy said. "How is pleasurin'?"
I thought for a moment. "Why, it's pleasurable Billy. Yes sir, it sure is pleasurable."
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. What happened was eventually forgotten and me and Christie began to see each other again. And again and again. Like I said, pleasurin' shor' was pleasurable.
And there you have it. The next story in this compilation is LETTER IN THE BIBLE. Look for it soon right here at FROM THE WRITINGS OF A SAILOR.
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